


Because

by yeolkim92ifah



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Broken Promises, Light Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-23 18:31:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1575332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeolkim92ifah/pseuds/yeolkim92ifah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s their 3rd anniversary day, but for some reason, Sakurai Sho can’t make it to their dinner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Because

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this based on my own experience ;;A;; and because I feel awfully guilty about it, I tried to convey through this fic.

I wake up in shock when my phone alarm rings loudly. I reach for my phone on the desk beside the bed to turn off the alarm. Throwing my phone beside me, I stretch my arms and yawn. It is 9am now. I sit absentmindedly on my bed, waiting to regain full consciousness, as I rethink about today’s schedule. Lecture, lecture, lecture, I can’t think of anything beside lecture. I mess up my hair with groan. It will be a long day.

Just then, my phone vibrates and the lights of the phone turn on, showing there is a new message. I opened the mail and start smiling by myself.

_From : Masaki_

_Good morning, Sho-chan! I know you are sitting on your bed right now. Don’t be a lazyass and go take a bath now! Your students are waiting, you know._

I giggle as I typed the reply message. How does he know I’m sitting on my bed? What is he seriously? Detective? Paranormal? Fortune teller? Ah, mou, it doesn’t matter.

After putting back my phone on the desk, I drag myself half unwillingly towards the bathroom. One message from Masaki in the morning can make my tension higher a little.

***

“Okay class, that’s all for today. You can go home.” I pack my belongings as I close today’s lecture. The class murmured a ‘thank you’ and ‘otsukaresama deshita’ as they rush out from the class and say a goodbye to me when they passed by me. I just wave my hand to them and stay in the class until everyone is gone. I’m alone in the room.

I sit down on the chair and take out my phone from the pocket. There are 2 new messages. One from Masaki and one from an English professor who promise to meet me after my lecture end. I read the one from Masaki first.

_From : Masaki_

_Sho-chan, let’s come to my house! My lecture ended just now and I’m on my way to home. I’ll prepare a dinner for us. You’re not forgetting what day is it today right? I hope you not. See you tonight, honey._

Today? Is there any special occasion? I hurriedly look at the date on my phone. Suddenly I feel a loud smack on my head. I cried in a frantic tone when I realise. Today is our anniversary! How can I forget it?! I curse myself for being so careless. Yet, I have another schedule after this, and it cannot be rescheduled.

Purposely I haven’t replied Masaki’s mail yet. Instead, I open the second message from the professor. It says that he has been waiting in the conference room. I start to walk out of class to the conference room as I grip the phone tightly and nervously.

Masaki and I, both are college teacher. We’re dating for 3 years. I’m an English teacher and he is a music teacher. We usually hang out together, or just lazing around in his house or mine. But recently since I moved to his university (because I’m a competent and smart teacher and thus I was recruited, duh) we seldom to meet because I become really busy. In school, we even barely meet each other. And outside, I occasionally will be back to his house late night and sleep there, without really have a proper chat.

And today, even in this special day, I can’t spare a time for him, just the two of us, in this special day. Oh, what should I do? I can’t possibly nullify the meeting with the professor, because we’ve made an agreement and we will talk about some important matter. But I also can’t imagine how Masaki feel when he in his house already cook a dinner for us, but in the end I can’t eat the dinner with him there.

I start to feel a bit guilty. Uneasy feeling come over to me. I’m in dilemma. I can’t get myself calm because I keep thinking of his feeling. His bright smile and cheerful laugh keep lingering inside my head and it make me feel guilty even more. How can I possibly destroy that sincere and warm smile of him?

But, eventually, I reach the conference room. I stand in front of the door, inhaling as much as I can. In the end, I still decide to meet the professor. I sigh deeply as I hold the doorknob and opened the door.

_To : Masaki_

_I’m really sorry, Masaki. I can’t come to your house now. I have an important meeting with a professor now. But I’ll come right after it end, I swear. And by the way, happy 3 rd anniversary, Ma-chan. I love you, a lot._

***

By the time the meeting end, it’s already dark. I look at my watch on my wrist, 10.30pm. It’s already this late, huh.

I go to the car park and open the driver seat’s door. I throw my bag to the back seat, loosen up my tie, immediately turn on the engine, and drive to Masaki’s home as fast as I can. Is he sleeping already? What about the dinner? Does he eat it by himself? Does he mad? Does he feel disappointed of me? And those kinds of questions are filling my head all along. I feel frustrated. Just thinking about him makes that guilty feeling come back to me again. I bite my lips in nervousness. Even the cold air conditioner in the car can’t help me to cooling my mind.

Before I realize, I’ve arrive in front of Masaki’s house. I open the car door and feel the night summer breeze brushed against my skin softly and calmly. A contrary to my feeling right now. I start to walk slowly with a heavy steps, my feet feels heavy.

I stand still on the entrance, collecting some courage, before I touch the doorknob. Locked. He must be sleeping by now. I’m glad we have each other’s duplicate key. So I grope my pants pocket to search the key. It must be here because I always put it here.

I enter the key into the keyhole, turn it around to the right and there is a ‘click’ sound from it, indicating that the door was unlocked now.

I open the door slowly, scanning the room for a while before I proceed to enter the house. I close the door slowly; try not to make any noises, because I’m sure that Masaki is sleeping now. I don’t want to wake him up. The living room is dark, but I see a light coming from the dinning room at the end of the living room. I walk towards the dinning room, and I find Masaki is sleeping on the couch. I smiled bitterly when I see that peaceful face. His sleeping face is cute. I turn around to look at the table and there only leftover of his cooking. My gaze moves to the sink, and I see the clean plates and glasses that clearly have been washed just now.

Back to look at Masaki’s peaceful face, I crouch down to face him. I stroke his hair caringly and lovingly.

“Masaki…” I mumble as I study his face thoroughly. Just when my gaze stops at his lips. I stare at his lips for a while before I bend down and shorten the gap between us, landing my lips on his. The kiss isn’t long, but it is warm enough.

By the time I pull out from the kiss, he opens his eyes slowly and stares into my eyes deeply.

“Sho, you come.” He speaks with a sleepy voice and smile warmly. I help him to sit and I stand up to join beside him.

“Yes. I-I’m sorry, Masaki. You have to eat it alone. I-I…”

“It’s okay. I know you’re busy. It can’t be helped, ne.” He cuts me midway and smile reassuringly. However, I can see a disappointment in his eyes, although it’s faint, but I can clearly see it. He just tries to hide it and understand me. God, I feel really awful.

“Ah! The dinner! I have to put it in microwave. Have you eat? Oh, I’m sorry Sho-chan. I’ll prepare it.” As he want to stand up in panic, I stop him from doing so by grabbing his wrist. He turns around to look at me confusedly.

“No need, Masaki. I will not troubling you more. I know you’re tired. Let’s just sleep inside.” He stays silent but gives a little nod then. I lead him to the bedroom with hands still wrapped around Masaki’s wrist. He follows me obediently and silently. He positions himself on the bed and lowering his head, like he is trying to hide something. I don’t dare to ask him, so I just excuse myself to take quick bath before go to bed.

 

“Ma-chan, have you sleep?” I say quietly. I can’t see him because he facing the opposite side of me, only his back facing me. I look at his shoulder that goes up and down because of his breathing, waiting for his answer.

“No, I haven’t. Why, Sho-chan?” his voice is just as quiet as I am.

“Are you mad?” I try to be brave and ask it to him. Preparing to have the worst answer, I closed my eyes. The air around us feels heavy.

After an agonizing 15 seconds of silence, finally come his answer. “No, Sho-chan. I’m not mad at you. You know I can’t.” He turns around to face me and smile faintly.

Why I feel sadness in his way of speaking?

“Come here.” I stretch my arms, inviting him to my embrace. He snuggles closer to me and I wrap my arms around him. The warmth of his body spreading through my veins to my whole body. Somehow, it makes me calm.

I close my eyes tightly. I have disappointed this man. Moreover, it’s the second time. And he still willing to tolerate it despite the fact that I’ve hurt him. I feel my heart aching. It’s his kindness that makes me feel like this. It’s his bright smile that makes me feel like this. It’s all because I can’t stand it when he shows that kind of smile when he obviously doesn’t feel that way. I know it’s because of the work, and I don’t blame it. I blame myself. For letting this man in my embrace to fake a smile.

“I’m really sorry, Ma-chan.” I let out a deep sigh as I kiss his head. The only words I can say is ‘sorry’. Although I fully realise that not everything can be solved with just a ‘sorry’.

But what I don’t realise is that the warm tears on my bare chest.

In this quiet night, he is crying soundlessly.


End file.
